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Today I saw the funniest thing, I was waiting to go to work when I looked out of my livingroom window and what did I see?
A magpie totally humping the crap out of another magpie! well needless to say I was outraged after al I have a daughter who could of seen them... shagging! yes and thats swearing! thats just how upset i am! I now wish I had a camera in my hand to film their filthy public display of rogering each other so I could send it to Bill oddie, who I belive to be some form of avian ambassador if you will. So he could inform them that hard working people dont want to look out of their windows of a morning and see feathered nookie right on their door step!
How would these bird bastards (yes i swore again as im livid!) like it if i took my wife infront of one of their egg laiden nests undressed her revealing her fleshy private parts and made sweet sweet love to her till i ejaculated in a blur of passion deep inside he lady love purse, Thats right they would string me up for it! its just not fair!
Any body who has any home videos of birds getting down and dirty please send them to me so we can all as a community put a stop to such filth were our children are!
yours in christ
p.s. since writing this my wife has refused to let me undress her in public and make sweet love to her in full view of an egg laiden birds nest as she says im a retard and i need to get over it as its natural but i think she really means
she obviously doesnt love our children and care that they are being exposed to hot magpie sex!
Below is a picture i found of a magpie who from the looks of it is about to perform a lewd sex act on that unsuspecting bike enthusiast is no one safe from the antics!